Five years ago I carved out a tiny little corner of the interwebs for myself. As it is for so many people, my blog is a catch all of thoughts, memories - some good, some bad, lessons I've learned, and a place just for me. The interesting part of my blogiversary falling on the eve of my birthday is that it maginifies my desire to reflect on another year. But like so many of the times I sit down to tap on these keys I find that there is only silence. It's a conundrum. So much rattling around in my brain so much of the time but my noggin springs a leak somehow and I come up empty. Part of it is having a baby in the house - a baby that until very recently didn't sleep very much at night without being attached to me.
I applogized to PapaBear tonight as I made dinner. I'm sorry I fail. Any time there is more than one thing on my plate I feel like that plate becomes impossible to hold. Everything slips off. Rarely does a single one manage to stay balanced until I can put it exactly where it belongs. I
Sometimes I don't even bother to pick up the things I've dropped.
They are just too heavy. Too much.
I can't do it all. I know I'm not suppose to.
I want to celebrate the times I get it right. The times I get permission slips returned when they are suppose to, the times a healthy dinner makes it to the table, the times I forgoe all the housework to rock Elsa during her entire nap. Times like today when I'm hurry to meet a deadline but I found the time to make muffins with Julia so she could have a bake sale in our living room and made smoothies for Sam to sell at his "smoothie shop".
Tonight as I wrapped Julia in my arms, all snuggled into her fuzzy purple blanket I realized that she was not even four months old when I started writing here. Now she's almost ready for kindergarten. Tonight I'm so grateful that despite dropping this blogging 'plate' countless times, I'm so glad I keep picking it back up and coming back to this space, my little corner of the interwebs where I get to be me and I get to know you.
Linking up with Heather today for Just Write