In the dark

My first day of vacation/maternity leave didn't go according to plan. Sure I got the kids off to school, cleaned the kitchen, and had a chance to rest and put my feet up for a few minutes before starting on the laundry -  but in the next moment everything changed. I got up to let the dog outside and either peed my pants or my water broke. When I checked and instead saw blood our day went in a completely different direction.  I called my clinic who returned my call within five minutes. (yet it felt like five YEARS!) then called my husband to see if he was close enough to pick up Julia from her last day of preschool. 

He wasn't, so I grabbed a couple of movies for her to watch at the hospital with me. I went into survival mode, grabbing the hospital bag - mostly so I could have my chargers & toothbrush if I ended up staying.  When I got to Julia's school, her awesome teacher said to leave her, that she would take care of her. She ended up spending some time in the kindergarden room and had lunch with her brother. It was nice to know she was in good hands and I could focus on figuring out what was going on with my pregnancy.  It was also a good trial run for when labor starts for that matter! We have family close by but we are prepared for the chance that the kids just might have to come with us to the hospital and our family meet us there to take over their care.

I sent out a tweet that I was bleeding and that I was waiting for the doctor to call me back. Once I made it to the hospital and was in the waiting area I sent out another one, followed by a few more updates as the morning turned into afternoon. I had an ultrasound - placenta looked good.I'm dilated to a 1, but not having contractions. They wanted to monitor me for 4 hours - baby looked good on the monitors.  Had a speculum exam - cervix is fine, must be placenta.  Yet it wasn't until I was discharged (at 6pm) and was home for an hour that my phone gave me the message that NONE of my follow up tweets had actually been sent!  Talk about leaving you in the dark! I am so sorry about that! I was able to read your messages of hope and encouragement and have a sense of peace because I knew people were praying. It was also very reasuring to hear her heartbeat on the monitor the whole time.

Today (through Tuesday) I am on modified bed rest. Today also happens to be our 10 year wedding anniversary, not that we had anything planned. Fridays I see PapaBear for 30 minutes between jobs so we already had low expectations for this year. We're just grateful that BabyBear is fine and keeps kicking away at my ribs. I've savored every single kick this pregnancy and now they are a constant remind that her environment for the time being is still safe.  Why is my placenta bleeding? We don't know. We're in the dark on that one too!

I'm done.

I'm done with photoshoots for the year.
I'm done with blog books for the year.
I'm done feeling pulled in 10 different directions.
I'm done feeling like I'm not doing any of my jobs well.
I'm done having an office. (The desk is moving to the master bedroom & the crib will take its place)
I'm done taking Julia to preschool twice a week. (Today is the last day.)
I'm done taking Julia to speech twice a week.
I'm done living in a messy house.
I'm done telling my kids to watch another movie because Mommy has to work.
I'm done spending 6-8 hours at a stretch on the computer.
I'm done scrambling to figure out what we're going to have for dinner.
I'm done leaving clothes in baskets (or on the floor) for weeks at at time.
I'm done with 34 weeks of this pregnancy.
I'm done being absent from my blog.

Welcome to the new and improved BearCountry!

Why a new design when the cutest cubs on the block look so adorable in my old header?  That's exactly why. They are OLDER now and it didn't seem right to have pictures from when they were 2 and 4 in my header any longer.  I also wanted to make it easier to find different topics, reach me via email and twitter, and I wanted to include space to highlight companies and products I love.  (Be sure to stop back and see the shout outs to my favorite companies just as soon as I complete the button install)  Speaking of buttons....I have new ones!  You'll find them on the right sidebar. Didn't my designer do an excellent job?  I love it Barbara - thank you!

I hope you take a minute to poke around and see what's new in BearCountry!  Oh and don't forget to click the follow button as all new material will be posted at my new address: campgroundcubs.blogspot.com under the new name of Raising Cubs in a Campground.

To sweeten the deal I am going to give away a $10 gift card to Caribou Coffee to one lucky follower.  All you need to do is be one of the first 100 followers of my blog. Leave a comment on this post and when we reach 100 followers I'll draw a winner!