Brian and I were married for years before we ever fought. I know that sounds unbelievable and according to the experts, unhealthy, but it's true. We work very hard at communicating and for a while used a technique I learned from my childhood friend, Rhonda. A couple times a month we'd ask each other if there's anything that the other is doing that bothers/annoys/upsets the other person. In a neutral setting, both with a calm spirit, it works. I had the bad habit of leaving the peanut butter out on the counter - drove Brian nuts. I made an effort to put it away. Brian thought it was funny to make exaggerated pointing motions when I'd try to discretely point something out to him in public - embarrassed the heck out of me. He no long does that. Six years into our marriage we've had a few disagreements and even went to bed mad once. (something I swore we'd never, ever do)
He's my best friend and I don't mean that as a cliché in any way. When we both give 100% (or even 75% now that we have kids and our time isn't just ours anymore) we are usually in a good place. Do we have room for improvement? Of course! Who doesn't? We should do our couple's devotional more consistently, we should go out on dates more than once every 2-3 months, we could spend more quality time together after the kids are in bed instead of watching our own tv shows or blogging. Getting to my point....I've realized lately that Sam and Julia haven't quite figured out the nuances of their parent's relationship. Brian is a big teaser and I enjoy ribbing him as well. Sometimes Sam interprets that as us not getting along or not being nice. Part of it is he prefers our undivided attention or to actually be able to hear the songs he's listening to in the car. "Stop talking to Daddy!" or "Don't be cross Mommy!" are not uncommon phrases around here. I simply remind him that Mommy can talk to Daddy, that I'm not cross, and that Daddy's my best friend and we like to talk to each other. Based on what Sam said the other day (1/31), I'd say he's still working on grasping that concept.
Brian and I joking back and forth about something in the sports section.....
Sam: "Mom stop talking!"
Me: It's OK Sammy, Mommy's just teasing.
Sam: Oh. Are you just yelling?
Later that day....
We were teasing about something else...
Sam: Don't be mad Mom
Me: I'm not mad Sammy
Sam: Are you just crazy?
Ha! Maybe I am. :)
He's my best friend and I don't mean that as a cliché in any way. When we both give 100% (or even 75% now that we have kids and our time isn't just ours anymore) we are usually in a good place. Do we have room for improvement? Of course! Who doesn't? We should do our couple's devotional more consistently, we should go out on dates more than once every 2-3 months, we could spend more quality time together after the kids are in bed instead of watching our own tv shows or blogging. Getting to my point....I've realized lately that Sam and Julia haven't quite figured out the nuances of their parent's relationship. Brian is a big teaser and I enjoy ribbing him as well. Sometimes Sam interprets that as us not getting along or not being nice. Part of it is he prefers our undivided attention or to actually be able to hear the songs he's listening to in the car. "Stop talking to Daddy!" or "Don't be cross Mommy!" are not uncommon phrases around here. I simply remind him that Mommy can talk to Daddy, that I'm not cross, and that Daddy's my best friend and we like to talk to each other. Based on what Sam said the other day (1/31), I'd say he's still working on grasping that concept.
Brian and I joking back and forth about something in the sports section.....
Sam: "Mom stop talking!"
Me: It's OK Sammy, Mommy's just teasing.
Sam: Oh. Are you just yelling?
Later that day....
We were teasing about something else...
Sam: Don't be mad Mom
Me: I'm not mad Sammy
Sam: Are you just crazy?
Ha! Maybe I am. :)
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